I'm Autistic… 71, Still Breathing. Doc, That Takes Resilience.

Cuz there ain't no cure for something that ain't wrong...

“The Sleep of Reason Breeds Resilience,” illutratuion by Johnny Profane Âû

• Content warning: abuse, trauma + experiences & opinions from one autistic life.

What I tell any therapist… any caregiver… first session:

I have survived physical and sexual abuse from family and schoolmates.
Bullying by teachers and fellow students… 2nd grade through high school.
Multiple professional crashes… in multiple careers.
Dozens of firings.
2 evictions.
Dozens of major household moves.
Few friends, and…
2 divorces, 3 "living togethers," and a couple of "serious" relationships that, well…, weren't?

Ain't this resilience?

Resilience. Ya know, that cap-and-gown term pros use for getting knocked down seven times. Stubbornly getting up eight...

I'm still alive. Still creating. Still getting published. Still speaking to thousands of autistics a year.

Never attempted suicide... despite three hospitalizations.

AND I'm still autistic. Cuz there ain't no cure for something that ain't wrong. Unless you base your "medical model"¹ on some statistical "normal"… which is simply fiction.

Why do "helping" pros focus on my deficits, my lacks, my pitiful performance of Activities of Daily Living…?²

Rather than the sheer strength of will I demonstrate every time I take my next breath?
Why do they offer to fix me,
inform me,
guide me, and
charge me for sessions,
mentoring,
workshops,
best-selling books,
SYSTEMS they've invented…
based on… at best… incomplete research?

You wanna pathologize me? Knock yerself out.

Turn my every inborn neurodivergent³ characteristic into a disease. You do have powerful diagnostic tools…

But you're looking through that diagnostic telescope backwards. Faithfully counting every leaf marked "deficit"… Then missing the whole damn forest we know locally as "Survival."

Go ahead use professionally, objectively disempowering terms, like "comorbidity"⁴... betraying your bias that my very way of Being is a disease. And then elaborate away:
"pervasive demand avoidance,"
"obsessive-compulsive disorder,"
"borderline personality disorder,"
And on and on and on…

Truth? Every diagnosis? Just another survival mechanism. Not symptoms of autism. Responses to how society treats autism.

Behaviors that kept me alive… in your world.

Or… we could build on my autistic strengths.

1. Resilience: Just surviving multiple, severe stressors is a significant strength. Every autistic adult you meet has adapted to extreme challenges. We endure. We recover. We keep going.

2. Deep Feeling: You call them "mood swings." We call it feeling everything, deeply. That depth drives our creativity—in science, art, writing, becoming lunatic billionaires. It's not a flaw. It's fuel.

3. Survival Skills: My life, my continued existence… is my proof. Just as any autistic adult's life is. We've survived numerous challenging life events. We demonstrate inner strength and coping mechanisms.
   These aren't skills most professionals understand… not even some neurodivergent practitioners. These skills are linked to how our autistic minds work.

4. Creative Persistence: Every autistic person knows that pull. Our passionate focus on our interests. Grabbing us deeper than hunger. We don't just see details. We work on a wider canvas. We create. We build. We solve. That's strength.

5. Living with Extremes: My knee surgeon was shocked. "You walked two miles a day on a torn meniscus?" Yes, but… a light touch on my face can trigger panic. That's not contradiction. That's how we survive. We may get sensory warnings⁵ earlier than most… Yet we handle what would break others.

6. Hidden Adaptability: Look at my life changes—jobs, homes, relationships. Society labels us "rigid." Truth is, we adapt constantly. We have to. We do. That's not weakness. That's strength.

7. Processing Power: We take in everything. Process it deeply. Yet live through experiences that would derail most people. Keep going. Keep growing. That's not dysfunction. That's determination. Coming directly from… not despite… our unique cognitive style.

8. Spectrum of Strength: Maybe resilience itself runs on a spectrum. And some of us autistics max it out. Turning stereotypes upside down. Again.

Challenging Normal-izing Models

My story? Just one among thousands.

I've worked as a magazine publisher. Functioned as an academic grad student… multiple times. And been homeless… multiple times. I've been privileged to hear many, many similar stories over the decades. At all levels of society, education, and age.

These stories all share one truth: Autistic traits are not inherently deficits. They can be hidden sources of strength and resilience.

We're human… autistic humans.

We need what all humans need:
To build on our strengths.
To find our nurturing environments.
To choose our supportive communities.
We neurodivergents just accomplish these things... differently.

So, Doc, Stop. Look again…

At the big picture this time.

See those brilliant sparks of unusual strength? Far more powerful than your "deficits." Reality check: You're just documenting how modern consumer culture fails our neurology.

Simply put?

Doc… stop looking through your telescope backwards.

---

References & Further Reading

Neither exhaustive nor comprehensive. Articles that made me think.

1. The high prevalence of trauma and adverse experiences among autistic individuals

• PTSD and Autism

• Trauma and Autism: Research and Resources

2. The relationship between autism and resilience

• Building Resilience – An Important Life Skill

• Reframing Autism and Resilience

• Understanding Resilience in Neurodivergent Adults

3. The criticism of deficit-based models of autism

• Beyond the Deficit Model

• Moving Beyond Deficit-Based Models of Autism

• Strengths-First Assessment in Autism

4. The reality of autistic strengths and capabilities

• 6 Strengths (not Weaknesses) of Individuals with Autism

• Autism as a Strength

• Neurodiversity as a Competitive Advantage

Note: Links are provided for reference only. Views expressed may differ from my own experiences and observations. Sources affiliated with Autism Speaks are controversial in the neurodiversity community. Their research may be fincluded for completeness. But perhaps be cautious.

1. Medical Model: That old-school thinking that different = broken and needs fixing. Spoiler alert: We disagree.

2. Medical Model: That old-school thinking that different = broken and needs fixing. Spoiler alert: We disagree.

3. Neurodivergent: When your brain's wired differently than most humans. That's us autistics, ADHDers, and other folks whose minds work uniquely.

4. Comorbidity: It's when pros spot multiple "conditions" in one person. For many autistics? These may just be different ways we've adapted to a world that wasn't built for us.

5. Sensory Processing: How your brain handles the world's input—sounds, touch, lights, smells. We autistics often experience these differently than other folks. Sometimes way more intensely, sometimes barely at all. Both can be challenging when the world's built for "normal" senses.